Road To Nationals Week 10 and how I plan to bring in the New Year...

Not DeadYet, indeed. Thanks, Frank Turner, for everything...


Three years ago, I read John Welbourn's 2013 "Year in Review" and felt inspired.

Maybe it was the simplicity of his list of "42 things" he learned that year; maybe it was because I was at a point in my life where I felt like I'd been let down by just about everything I'd bought into since my teenage years; but I'd felt swindled, and after reading it, I was excited to move on toward something of substance.

But what I learned from his post, at the end the day, was one simple truth: I was doing everything wrong. 

I want to say that, after reading his review, I was so inspired that I was able to eliminate every hindrance that existed in my world, but that would be a lie. Things actually got worse. I went into that year thinking more was better. I told myself, well, I just needed to do things that I enjoyed doing more often, and then maybe things would work out. I thought, "Turn everything up to 11 and let's ride this thing until the wheels fall off," but by the end of 2013, I found my self worse off than the year before.

The problem was, I thought that I needed to "do more". I thought that since I liked to coach and I liked to play music and I liked to write and I liked to teach and I liked to help people and I liked to travel and I liked to train and I liked money, I should keep working towards all of those things...

But here is what happened: All I did was make myself more miserable to the point of feeling physically ill most days, and by the summer of 2014, I found myself still at a loss.

It wasn't until a family a trip to the Bahamas, the reading of a book called The Great Floodgates of the Wonderworld, an email to the author (who has since become a friend... thanks, Justin, for everything), and the writing of my first book (something that took me several years to put together), that I'd finally found myself on steadier ground.

It was a combination of those events and a third "Year in Review" by Welbourn called "Lessons Learned" that finally set me on the course that I feel I'm still on today (and much happier than I've ever been).

And all of it came together rather nicely on January 2nd, 2015, when I read the first item on Welbourn's list:

"You make your own prisons in life."

Below you can read the complete section:

          If 20 bucks or 60 minutes a day is what is preventing you from reaching your goals, get a new job or set an alarm clock. You have to make time for it. No goal was ever attained by just thinking about. No amount of dreaming gets your ass in shape.

           I have a good friend that runs one of the largest mortgage companies in the country with a few hundred offices with a ½ billion in revenue. He has 3 kids, a wife and works 70 hours a week. Then wakes up at 4 AM to train each day and hasn’t missed a day of training since 2005. He made the New Year’s resolution to not miss a day of training, which means 365 days a year of workouts, for a full year. Each year since 2005, he has made the same resolution and has kept it.

           If it is important, you will find a way to make it happen. If $20 is the difference between success and failure, ride a bike, skip the bar one night a month, or brew your coffee at home and save the $1.45 at Starbucks.

           If meeting your goals by fitting in your training into your busy schedule means you have to wake up at 4 AM to get in your training, throw away your TV and go to bed.

           Because there are thousands of people meeting their goals by prioritizing what is important, waking up early and making it work. I always smile when I see a video of a guy squatting in his home garage gym at 5 AM with snow on the ground.

           Whining about 20 bucks makes you sound like an unsuccessful fucking loser. And complaining you can’t find 60 minutes a few days a week to train makes you sound like a lazy incompetent fuck.

Poetic, I know, but it resonated with me. On January 2, 2015, I'd realized something: I was STILL doing everything wrong. 

What I'd realized (and maybe you've already realized this ), was that I was completely responsible for building the world that I wanted to exist in. I'm sure many of you are reading this now and you're thinking, "Duh. That's obvious," but is it? Take a look at your bank account - are your finances exactly where you would like them to be? What about your job? Are you in love with it? Is it providing you with purpose? Your body? Is it complete? Your health? Is it as good as it should be?

I could go on like this for hours, and I'm not doing it to sound like I know what I'm talking about. I'm just going on-record to say that I'm just as lost as the next guy and that, for a very long time, I was not completely certain what it was that made me feel whole or happy; however, with that being said, I can confidently say that after 2015, I have a better idea of what I value and why.

In the spirit of the New Years list, I've decided to put one together. It's a gift from me to you (or more like a gift from me to me, but you get the idea) to better help you find your way:

1.) Figure out what it is that makes you feel complete: Notice that I DID NOT say "happy." I've grown to detest that word. True happiness is a byproduct of wholeness. False happiness is a byproduct of some sort of chemical interruption. For a brief moment, even the saddest heroin addict feels just dandy about most things. Because of that, I insist upon feeling complete and whole. Find out what leads you in that direction, and most of the work is already done.

2.) It's okay to be selfish so long as you're feeding the right parts of yourself: Understand that I am not, in any way, saying "do whatever you want and screw everyone else." If that's what you're hearing in your mind when you read this, then you've been reading too many 140 character blobs on the internet written by people who are worse off than you are. What I mean by selfishness is the work you're doing to complete yourself. For example, if you ditch your friends out of laziness or you cancel plans because you think more enjoyable ones are on the horizon, you're an asshole. However, if you ditch your friends because something came up, and now you have to work towards that whole "completeness" thing on their time, well then, in my mind, the sacrifice is understandable. You build your own prison, remember? If a night out could result in taking you two steps backward, then do what you need to do.

3:) Surround yourself with Warrior Poets: Stolen from the film Braveheart, I've been using this term a lot recently. Warrior Poets are people who understand you completely because they are on the same journey you are on. They, too, are searching to complete themselves, and they understand the sacrifices and decisions you make without having to ask a single thing of you. They "get it," and the more of these people you have in your life, the better.

4:) Lead by example: "Be the change you want in the world." Don't be the guy or girl who "knows people" who have done X or Y. Don't be the "second hand" expert. At worst, you sound like a pretentious asshole. At best, you can't honestly empathize or understand. People can smell inauthenticity a mile away.

5:) Eliminate distractions and white noise: I made mention that several years ago, I'd found that I'd run myself ragged in an attempt to do all the things that I enjoyed doing in an attempt to find happiness. This happened because I had a hard time finding focus, and much of that has to do with the fact that I was almost always distracted. I was distracted with parties and distracted with dreams and distracted with ideas of how I'd like the world to exist. I couldn't work toward becoming whole because I couldn't focus on what it was that made me whole. I was too busy hoping and searching and experimenting. I was chasing after that damned thing, happiness. I'm not saying "don't experiment." However, I am saying know the difference between an experiment and a waste of time.

6:) Know the difference between being negative and demanding progress: It's okay to criticize, just understand that you'd better have a solution. If you have a possible alternative with thoughtful progress in mind, well then you're well on your way, and everyone else can go to hell. However, if you're just criticizing because you feel like what you have to say is important; trust me, it isn't. You're just being an asshole, and what you're complaining about isn't anything new. If anything, you're just opening up old wounds. Want to matter? Help. Don't have the time? Then quiet down, carry on, and mind your own damn business.

7:) You can't change the past, so get over it and move on. Grudges are for losers. You can absolutely use negativity to motivate you. As a matter of fact, I insist upon it. However, don't lose your focus. When people hold grudges, they let that other thing (whether it be a person or an institution) gobble up too much of their energy. Focus on the goal and use negativity as a means to reflect. If you're driving alone at night and all you can think about is the person or thing that's hindering your progress and NOT the progress itself, you've got bigger problems on your hands, and those problems all have to do with what's going on inside your soul and the demons that reside there.

8:) Take care of yourself. I mean it: Growing up, my mother always used to remind me and my brother to take our vitamins. That habit has paid dividends. I'm rarely ever sick, and I've never suffered a major injury, despite competing in powerlifting, Crossfit, and Olympic Lifting competitions. A lot of that has to do with how much I sleep, what I eat, what I drink, and paying thoughtful attention to those things as often as I can.

9:) Admit that you have a lot to learn, even about things you think you strongly understand: "He, O men, is the wisest, who like Socrates, knows that his wisdom is, in truth, worth nothing." - I can't say it as beautifully as Plato, but it's still worth pondering. Also, buy something written by Marcus Aurelius and spend a night inside. You don't have to go crazy with the reading, but it's worth your time, I promise.

A final note:

When it all falls down, you're only left with the things inside your soul that permit you to rest easy. I still have ways to go, and maybe I have no business putting together this list in the first place, but the act of putting words to paper helps.

Moreover, do yourself a favor and make a list of your own. Think about what you did last year, both good and bad. Prioritize. Reflect. Plan.

Take a look at my lists below...

The things that needed to take a back-seat in 2015 (and carry into 2016): 

1. Drinking alcohol
2. Traveling
3. Buying clothes
4. Going out to dinner
5. Working more than 50 hours a week
6. Chasing money (goodbye, third job)
7. My role as "A Coach"
8. Hanging out frequently with people I see frequently
9. Playing video games
10. Watching a television series. 
11. Performing music out at venues/events/bars

The things that I realized needed to take priority in 2015 (and to carry into 2016): 

1. Reading. A lot. 
2. Writing frequently for a set amount of time (2 hours one night during the work week, 4 hours every weekend) 
3. Writing music
4. Recording music
5. Keeping in contact with people
6. Following a training program to the letter 
7. Seeing a sports chiropractor monthly
8. Prehab and Rehab (stretch, roll, turn, walk, pull, hinge, repeat)

Accomplished goals of 2015:

1. Qualify for USA Powerlifting National Championship
2. Compete at USA Powerlifting National Championship and total over 1150
3. Finish writing second book
4. Begin writing third book
5. Begin recording and writing music again. 

Goals of 2016:

1. Place in the top 10 at USA Powerlifting National Championships
2. Total 1250
3. Bench  during training 315
4. Squat during training 450
5. Deadlift during training 550
6. Secure a publishing agent
7. Sell a song

Even looking at this these lists now, I can still see that I have work to do. Maybe I have to refocus. Maybe I have to get rid of a goal for 2016. Maybe I have to add a goal. Maybe I need to reprioritize. Ultimately, though, putting words to paper is what matters. It makes me re-evaluate how I spend my money, how I spend my time, and who I spend it with.

Oh, and there is one other thing to add to this list...

Stop blogging.

You read that right. Alas, I must walk away from this beast.

Don't worry, though. I'll still use this as a training log. I'll still post videos and discuss how, exactly, I feel for the week, but no more pontificating. No more lists (haha). No more nonsense.

If I want to publish fiction, then I need to be spending my time writing fiction, yah dig? Don't get me wrong, I'd like very much to be paid doing this, but I haven't burned myself out on the former task. It's just too damn fun.

A week or so ago, a buddy of mine asked me what I would do every day if I was filthy rich. "If you could get paid handsomely to do anything at all... if you could do what you love doing every day, what would you do?"

My answer?

Write... and train. The training, believe it or not, helps me grind out the ideas. It's amazing what you think about when there's 180kg bearing down on your back most nights.

And with that... good night, good luck, and happy New Year.

All my best,

C.

Here are some new training videos. I'll see you all next week.

Pulled 460 for 4. Still a little more round than I'd like to be, but I'm working on it.

This is a huge bench PR for me. Here is 255 for 6 at a touch-and-go pace (My competition PR is only 260, so I'm looking to smash it on the 24th.)